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Challenges Faced by Widow Mothers...

As is often said, motherhood is a privilege, the most beautiful phase of a woman’s life and comes with the most extraordinary moments; the first touch of the baby, first cry, first time the baby stands up and reaches out to you, the baby’s first words. No experience in the world can compare to the joy that raising a child brings.

Of course not all moments are beautiful and magical; it takes months to get accustomed to the new member of the family, the sleeping habits, the dietary patterns and what not, especially when the baby refuses to wear his diaper or insists on smearing marmalade on the dining table. There are as many challenges as there are joys in every step of a baby’s development and the challenges are considerably more in the case of widowed mothers.


Challenges Faced by Widow Mothers

Here are the parenting challenges faced by widow mothers.


Playing Two Roles

Parenting challenges faced by widows are far greater in number than those faced by a couple raising a child together. Widows bringing up a baby have to play the role of both mother and father. In such a situation, the personalities of the individuals and also the circumstances in which the child is being brought up affect the upbringing and also the smooth functioning of the house.

Parenting challenges faced by widows are immense; as they play the role of both mother and father, they might feel overwhelmed by the load of responsibilities that is on their shoulders therefore, it is of utmost importance that they have excellent organisational and time management skills.


Coping with Grief

Most of the time, a widowed mother not only has to deal with the challenge of raising a child all on her own, but also has to cope with the loss of a spouse. There is always someone to turn to in a two-parent family but for widowed mothers, this option does not exist. This task of having complete responsibility of a child can be seen as a gift and at the same time a burden but nonetheless, it is an experience like no other.


Dealing with Loneliness

Dealing with the loneliness is one the most challenging problems faced by widowed mothers. There is always the prospect of the mother finding someone new to share her life with but this happens only rarely.


Financial Problems

There is the financial stress to deal with as unarguably, a single parenthousehold has less income than a two parent household in most cases. Just surviving is not enough. When you have a child, you want to provide him or her with the best that money can buy and also provide long term financial stability.


Dealing with Stress and Frustration

Another parenting challenge that widows face is dealing with the stress and frustration that comes with taking care of so many duties and responsibilities and not letting that stress affect the child in any way. When it comes to household chores, children in single parent families usually help out more as compared to two parent families but then again the major brunt of the household responsibilities lies of the mother’s shoulders.

Taking care of children is a full time job and it is one in which there is no place for mistakes or second chances. Even though parenting challenges faced by widows are far superior than those faced by two parent families, there is no denying the fact that raising a child is the most fruitful and beautiful journey that a person could take.

Rebirth: Girl tracks old parents...

It was almost like living a miracle for a Gujjar family based in south Delhi—a four-year-old angel called Manisha walked into their arms on the shraddh of their daughter who died about five years ago. 

Manisha, the little girl, claimed that she was their deceased daughter Suman, who had died of typhoid at the age of 15 on December 14, 2000. 

The infant, who apparently has vivid memories of her last birth, took to her "past-life parents" as her own. 

"She ran into our arms when she saw us. She pointed to me and said voh nahi yeh mere papa hai," says Chaudhary Kamal Singh, her father of the last birth. 

The family have removed the garland that adorned Suman"s photograph in their living room and are ecstatic. 

The little girl is now living with her "new" parents and they are a big happy family. 

Manisha was born to Rampal and Khilli Devi in a little village called Milakpur near Alwar, Rajasthan. At the age of two, just the time that she learnt how to speak, she apparently told her parents that she was Suman and not Manisha. 

" Voh kehti thi mera naam Suman hai, Manisha mat bolo ," says Khilli Devi, the mother she was born to in this birth. 

As she grew older, she apparently started recollecting more about her past birth and told her "new"" parents that her father"s name was Kamal and her mother was Santosh. 

"She told us that she stayed in a threestoreyed house located near a Kamal mandir with three brothers. 

She would tell us colours of her school belt and tie—we couldn't understand her since she had not even started going to school then. She said she had died of typhoid," said Mallo, her grandmother of "this birth". 

The news about the girl spread in the neighbouring villages and she got to her "old" parents through some relatives who live in two villages in Rajasthan—Tejara and Tihli—which are about 30 km apart. 

Kamal said, "Someone told us that there is this little girl who could be our Suman since a lot of details she gave about her past life matched with us. I went to their village and she just ran into my arms calling me papa."